I could never fit in or feel that I belonged. I always thought that I was different in some way and didn't understand why. I had an older brother, and then two more came later, and I didn't seem like them. I would even joke with my parents and say I must have been adopted.

I tried to get to the bottom of this mystery, and why I felt this way, so I began looking for reasons. When I was beginning puberty, and we had swim classes at my school, I became aware that I was also different. I wasn't circumcised. That is not something every family does as it began as a religious ceremony, but it was still something my family followed, but I was different somehow.

I asked my mother later, and she said when I was born, there was something wrong with my skin as something covered my entire body, and the doctors didn't know what it was. They advised her not to breastfeed me because I might have been allergic to her. 

I later discovered that certain conditions might appear later in your life, or you might not have a robust immune system if you were denied your mother's milk. I figured that must have been why I suffered so many illnesses and unexplained diseases. 

Things didn't get much better because my family decided to move to a new neighborhood when I was twelve years old. It is always challenging for a kid to start a new school, but my new school was different as the student body was primarily White and Jewish. 

Surprisingly I did begin to assimilate, and others accepted me. I was even elected class treasurer of our eighth-grade graduating class. But that same year, my Jewish best friend was having his Bar Mitzah, and I was the only one not invited. 

It was a different time in our world, and even though I was close with my friend Buddy, and we would have sleepovers, and his parents loved me, I was too different and couldn't attend the celebration. This event further cemented my feeling of not belonging. 

When I went to high school, I had another culture shock, but it went in a new direction. My new high school's population was mainly Black, and I didn't fit in again. I spoke differently, and it was pointed out to me regularly. They believed I was trying to "sound white" was the phrase used. I wasn't trying anything. It was just the environment of my previous school, and I naturally adapted to their speaking style, as we all do.

When it came time for college, I felt nothing was working in my favor, and I could not decide where I wanted to go. I had no idea what I wanted to do in my life, so I picked a major in accounting when I settled for a local college and settled a career my father dabbled in, so I thought I might fit in there. It didn't work, and I walked out after a year and a half.

I went on to many jobs, careers, cities, or anywhere I might find to fit in or at least love what I was doing. Some of them were enjoyable, but most of them were only to make enough money to survive. There were many times I didn't do that well. But there were other times when I was wildly successful, and I didn't know why.

There was an indication in 1975 that completely passed me. I had taken a job in an industry and knew nothing about it or how I could manage this shop. There were 500 of them throughout the country. Within two years, I became the highest income-producing operation. I didn't know how I had done that, nor did the company, so they kept asking. 

They would fly me from Chicago to New York to pick my brain. We never figured it out, and it didn't come to my awareness until thirteen years later. In 1988 I was making another transition in my life, was freaking out again, and wanted emotional help. I read about automatic writing in an article by a businessman moving through a similar situation. He said it worked for him, so I tried it myself.

I had begun the process of meditation, so this was an addition. Nothing happened at first, but after a few days, I began receiving information that startled me. I didn't dare tell others about this because I had already spent more than thirty-eight years of my life feeling different, and this would only add to that stigma. 

I did tell a few people, but for the most part, I kept it hidden from others until 2005, when someone discovered one of my writings and said it helped them so much and asked me to send the messages as I created them, which was every day, so I agreed. Others asked, so I started a small email group to send the messages. It wasn't until a few years later that someone said I should have a website, and they offered to create it for me.

I was still reluctant. Even though the information I had been receiving and using since 1988 had helped me move through unimaginable difficulties in my life. I healed all those illnesses, diseases, addictions, and depression but my belief that being different and not fitting in was weird and strange still had a stranglehold on me. 

Then I remember doing life coaching in 1986, two years before I began automatic writing or my vocal coaching practice. I had one client who was a Hollywood personality, and she was receiving outstanding results. Then I quit. I couldn't believe I was causing that. I had belief in the imposter syndrome. 

I attended lectures by author Marianne Williamson on A Course in Miracles. I became best friends with her assistant, and Marianne was a good friend of my boss at the time. 

There was a day after the lecture, we had a meeting. We would typically talk about that day's lecture after everyone had left. Marianne was questioning if she should raise the price of the suggested donation. I couldn't understand why she was concerned because it was only a suggested donation, and she struggled with changing it from $5 to $7. I remember telling her it didn't matter because no one had to pay. But she was concerned that the expenses weren't being covered, but she still somehow questioned her value.

These events occurred long before she became a best-selling author, appeared on numerous occasions on Oprah, and before she ran for president of the United States. I could never figure out why she was insecure about the changes in 1987, but now I understand. 

We are all born with gifts, which develop at particular times in our lives. Still, it is up to us to recognize them and live them because they are innate within us, and it is our authenticity; if we allow ourselves to follow that path, we have extraordinary lives. I couldn't do that for decades; it is an awful way to live, and I never want to see anyone else do that.

I was different because I was supposed to be as we all were. But when you don't follow your intuition, life can be challenging. 

When our world began to change more than two years ago, I knew what was occurring and didn't understand why but I knew it was time for me to own who I was. But I had to work through years of telling myself something was wrong with me because I was different. 

I spent more than thirty years guiding others to embrace their authenticity, and I watched them do so and succeed. Some of them became singing stars worth millions. Others started businesses they didn't think they could do, but because of some encouragement I gave them, they succeeded. 

I was different because my intuition was also precognitive and difficult to believe as it wasn't tangible. When I discovered I was given something to help others, I had trouble accepting that until I saw the results. It was as if everything I had done in my life would finally pay off if I could accept myself entirely, and that is when Marianne's story made sense. 

We can touch others but can't help them without moving beyond our insecurities and accepting our value and worth. And Marianne has gone on to prove that, and it is an excellent example for me as I will be for others.

I will now live my authentic life because it feels better than hiding out, living in fear and doubt, and emotionally and financially suffering. They both happen when we are not willing to become who we were meant to be, and that is every person.

The next and final chapter of my life begins on Monday, August 22, 2022. I will unveil the appropriately named "Your Last Development Program." I will work with those who want to experience their extraordinary lives, for I know how to guide them and the value of that. 

We will be moving through more challenging times in our world, and not having a solid foundation of knowing who you are and living as your authentic self will cause many to have fear and stress. After doing this work, those familiar things have left me. And if more people are willing to do that, they will have a better life, and we will have a better world. I will contribute to it by helping produce magnificent beings who are happy, successful, and abundant in every area of their lives. 

I know the self-discovery journey is not for everyone, for it wasn't for me for years. I thought I could hide out. But I also know it is impossible for anyone to live an ultimately successful life if they don't go on that adventure.

- - Roger Burnley