I Didn't Want to Be Me
I didn't want to be me. That sentence answers every difficulty I have experienced in my life. It was the reason I had failed relationships. It was the excuse I used when I wanted to blame everyone else for what happened in my life. It was the source of my depression and the reason for my business failures.
The times when I experienced a lack of anything in my life were all due to my unwillingness to become myself. But I know now that for anyone unwilling to become themselves, their lives will be more challenging than others.
We are all born with something within us we are meant to develop and own so we can deliver that value we came to bring to the world and our lives. We are meant to be happy and experience all the riches life has to offer, but we will never experience that in full effect if we are unwilling to become who we were supposed to be.
When I was younger, I felt different than others, and I began to think something was wrong with me, so maybe I should attempt to be like everyone else. I then spent years denying any instinct or inclination that might arise in me because it could be wrong.
As my life moved along and I kept attempting to fit in, I would take any job or career because I needed to sustain myself, and I followed every model I could see, beginning with my parents, but none of those examples seem to fit me. When I did feel I was inspired to move in a particular direction, it became difficult because I had trained my mind to try to fit in. After all, that was the most acceptable thing to do, and I had convinced myself that what I wanted to do must be wrong.
I never wanted to become a coach. I only began because my coach told me I had to because I knew more than any client who would come to me. I didn't believe him because I never thought I could be as good as he was. Then he said he took what he knew from his coach and put his stamp on it, which is what we are all supposed to do.
Even though that was more than thirty-four years ago, it has only been made real now. I discovered my mentor was right, and I have done that, but I also had to convince myself I had done that, and what finally did it was work that came through me. Here is the part where I didn't want to be me.
I began consciously receiving spiritual guidance in 1988. It was information that helped guide me through every challenging period in my life, of which there were many. No matter what kind of day I might have had the day before, I knew that in the morning, when I sat down to meditate and hear and write the guidance I was receiving, my mood would lift, and I would get on with my day. I was asked continually, "are you always in a good mood?" I would say yes, and most would tend to doubt that.
But I wouldn't necessarily explain how I got there because I still didn't want to be me. The main reason I operated in that manner is the same for all of us. I wasn't sure this thing inside me I thought I was meant to do was real.
Then I discovered it was real, and I was to only one doubting it because it had been unknown to me. That is true for every person. And it all depends on how we have learned to deal with the unknown. If we have grown to fear it, we will fear new parts of us that begin to emerge as we live our lives because they always do.
We are born to evolve and do so at different times in our lives and in our world. We are affected not only by our life experiences but also by what is occurring in our world, or we would have no reference point to know who we are. We only discover who we are through our surroundings and events that cause us to go inside our minds.
When I came to understand that, I understood myself, and now I want to be me more than ever because it is the most fun place to live. I couldn't do that before, but now it is all I want to do because I know there will be more to embody, and I want to help others do the same.
When I received information about what was occurring in our world several years ago, it was challenging to tell others because I had denied who I was for years. But the good news was that my work gave me the tool to achieve total self-acceptance.
We only live and experience anything in our lives through our minds and what we choose to think and perceive. We then experience our life through the beliefs we have decided to accept, and they are always limited. Most of them were taught to us, so depending on our upbringing, parents, or ancestors, we may carry old narrow ideas and traditions that have prevented us from becoming the most we could and living the lives we usually only imagine.
I could interpret spiritual information and translate it into practical and tangible advice. That allowed me to sit every day in my morning practice and change my mind so I could gradually become me, and that is why I was always in a good mood. I developed the formula to transmute all those limiting beliefs, and now I want to be me! And now, I can provide it to others who wish to do the same.
I knew this time in our world could be uncomfortable, and what I was given and the life I have lived prepared me to develop my work and life to aid others. And it will be more critical over the next year, which is why I have made the offer on my program. But each person will have to decide when it is the right time in their lives to want to become themselves. It is the most liberating thing you can do.
I can no longer see imperfection in any person. I only see something they have yet to figure out about their worth and value. Then I know that they need time to accept what they discover, for it will be new and unknown to them. Then they will use proven science to shift their thinking into one where they love themselves and live extraordinary lives.
Now wanting to be me earlier has caused my life later to become more valuable. That is true for you.
- - Roger Burnley
